nicole

2011-09-17T00:09:00.002+08:00

So much has happened recently..
Its too much for me to accept. I feel tired and weak, mentally and emotionally. I wish i could just control my tears each time.
Life is just so fragile..
With so much that has happened, it dawned on me that the friendships is this school is superficial and that's when i'm truly thankful for the friendships in Church :)
There's so much to say but its not easy putting it into words. Just so tired of everything..

2011-07-09T00:36:00.002+08:00

Back here again..
Seriously look what's happening. I can't believe this is becoming of us. And i hate to say this, its definitely not entirely true of course, but it seems like i wasted 11months of my time. 11months and its gone in a flash. Don't you at least feel smth? I'm disappointed and angry. The more i think about the whole incident from start, the more angered i am and all the more do i feel like scolding you. I don't wish to say this but again, i hate your guts(its the third time im saying this, you can imagine how much i really do hate your guts huh). You are such a cowarddd. Be someone respectable please. At least let me know i didn't waste 11 months of my time for nothing, for someone like you. Even if i lose to someone, i should lose because that person is better than me and not because you suck. It actually turns out you are worse than someone whom i thought was worse. Look, im comparing you with that someone, how terrible is that.. At least it seems like that someone is better than you. If you don't want to start cause you don't want to end, then don't even start with asking for number. dumbbbbb. screw you, screw that 11 months, screw everything.

2011-06-08T17:44:00.002+08:00

Seems like blogger is the only place where i can pour out my feelings.

Today..
It was the first time i almost teared in front of you. I don't know why, seriously. I don't usually react like this in front of you but... Sigh. You're just not getting the best out of me. In fact you don't really need me. But because of this issue, i'm contemplating so much whether to go Tuao or not. I don't know whether to continue working hard and not go Tuao, thinking i'll get a chance of getting in or to just give up and go Tuao, knowing the chance is of a lesser percentage. You tell me, what should i do? Sunday is the last day to sign up for Tuao and up till now, i've yet to decide whether to go when everyone is encouraging me to. Just for netball. And i have been thinking about this issue for weeks, weeks. Sigh whatever, i'm still gonna have to make a decision by sunday.

Under the hoooottttttttt sun today and am burnt! Even though i applied a little of sunblock. Guess the sun is just too hot? Haha. Gonna stay at grandma's tonight and going for chalet tmrw :) Will be away from home for 2 nights, haha. But somehow, i feel i'll miss papa.. Hmmmmm. Weird but oh well. Really got to appreciate him for everything he has done for me :))

Life isn't always smooth sailing

2011-06-07T23:29:00.002+08:00

Starhub failed me on friday night and I was left with nothing to do, no computer, no television. Looked through many photos in my comp while waiting and many memories flashed back with strong feelings. Turns out that the happy times in the past are still strongly attached in my mind. Whoever it may be with. But those times were never forgotten and never will be. Even though things are no longer the same but at least memories are left to constantly remind us how we should live our life.
Kinda thankful for Starhub to fail me actually. It was really a good chance for me to reflect on the past :)

2011-03-25T23:37:00.003+08:00

Just realized i haven't updated in a month. Who bothers anyway, no one reads :) Even i myself haven't visited it in a while.
The march hols flew past so quickly.. School life is getting even more tiring and busy. Mid-years are coming and i feel nothing about it yet. I really hope i don't screw my mid-years.
Living life each day, being glad that i lived past the days..

Ahh whatever, bye, im crapping anyway.

2011-02-17T22:23:00.002+08:00

School's been realy hectic..
Anyways. Came across a book recently and i actually bothered to read. Wow.
Anyway i decided to read because its interesting. At least to me. In a sense where the character in the book actually faced a situation which i once faced and am probably still coping with it. Still reading on, i've yet to know the ending but one thing for sure is that the character achieved her goal.
It really amazes me as to how i actually found the book. It feels as though He's telling me smth through the book or smth, like a source of encouragement.

The wonders of God :)

2011-02-07T22:35:00.002+08:00

Its interesting when you read others writing with such deep meaning behind, using profound words. For me personally, it gives me the urge me to read on. I was in awe when i came across a blog with long yet profound posts. Being able to see how one's standard is a far cry as compared to others. Its interesting :)

2011-01-29T23:32:00.002+08:00

Sigh, heard about how awesome and cool SS3 is.

Anyway. School has still been as tiring and hectic. Tests are all coming up and homeworks are piling up. I don't know how i lived through each day. But yes im still here alive and well.
Till the next time.

2011-01-15T00:42:00.002+08:00

Here to update a little again :) Oh well, my first post of the year.
Its only been the second week of school and the work load has been really heavy! Sigh school seriously is bad. I hate school. Drained after the week. I don't know how i'm gonna be able to cope. Including CCA, although its like nothing now.. But it takes up as much time and energy.
I just pray that things will work according to the ways He has planned for me, that i may be walking the right way with Him.

Awful, nothing ever really helps.
Nothing said nor done helps either.
Everything just sucks.

2010-12-31T22:17:00.004+08:00

Its the last day of 2010 and i'm here to update a little :)
I bet no one reads my blog now anyway :)
So, back from Youth Camp. Four days flew by so quickly. If only it was longer. I mean, four days isn't that short for a camp but still it felt like it ended too soon on the last day :( I love the games comm, group 2 and of course PPCOC <3
Since today's the end of 2010, it means school is starting and my holidays have ended too. Why does everything seem to pass so quickly but not school. Oh man i really dread the thought of having to go to school next year. Sigh..
I hate school, but there's nothing i can do.
Oh well, Happy New Year in advance people!

Games Comm :))

Group 2 :)

2010-11-09T23:03:00.002+08:00

Sigh..
I wanna go SS3.
Why are things so uncertain. The tickets are going to be on sale soon. I think at the very end i'll end up not going, back to square one..
Ahhhhh.

Dreams/wishes never do come true, do they?..

2010-11-07T21:58:00.002+08:00

It's November.. Second last month of the year alr.
How is this holiday going to turn out? I really don't know, just hope its fruitful.

Anyway.. Its been 5 and 4 years for SJ & SJ-KRY alr(although i'm a bit late). These guys are really really awesome :)) to me. I hope they continue to do well in the many years ahead :) Since they have such a strong fan-based after all. Its amazing how the impact of influence is so great now.
Really admire them.
Oh well, excel in the years ahead!

Class Chalet ended, i miss it :( it was so much fun, having time with one another, creating better bonds. I'll miss this class, definitely. But i wish everyone the very best for next year :)

2010-10-29T22:49:00.003+08:00

Finally back after so long.

Anyway school has come to an end for the year. Good or bad? I don't know :) Will definitely miss 2E4 '10 though.
Yesterday was the last day of school, the last day spent with the class(apart from chalet). Wanted to do words of affirmation for some of them but didn't in the end. Still contemplating whether to. Guess i'll just get it done ASAP and give it to peeps during class chalet :)
Thank you 2E4 for the memories these past 10 months :) Although i must admit i had have unhappiness and disagreements about this class. But there's always pros and cons to everything :) All in all, thank you for being such a great class, love you guys :)

2010-09-25T21:18:00.003+08:00

It's not a matter of whether i can but rather if you bothered..

you make me smile :)

2010-09-17T22:48:00.001+08:00

Am i just thinking too much and imagining stuffs which possibly wouldn't happen and isn't true? I feel lost.. But well, kinda expected.

2010-09-17T22:44:00.002+08:00

Have you thought of my feelings upon arriving at such decision? Did you think what really was beneficial?

2010-09-05T23:17:00.003+08:00

"Not too much of a dreamer myself. I guess at the very core its the fear of getting disappointment."

Indeed its true. Dreams either get fulfilled or they don't and you just get disappointed/upset. Its kinda scary though.
I'm not gonna yearn for smth anymore. For the more i yearn for it, the higher the level of disappointment. I guess i'll never dare to dream big again..

I know you probably won't be reading this and even if you do, i guess you wouldn't know its you. Its really sad to see how you've drifted. I'm really waiting for you to come back. I've been waiting and trying but somehow its not going well at the moment. I was really glad when you called me at 2359 just to wish me happy birthday last sat. I was surprised for i didn't expect you to wish me. I started trying to get you back, hoping to see you the next day. But still you didn't turn up. You texted me another day when i was in school and you apologised for you were busy with YOG or smth, saying you would go back soon. Really hoping to see you soon again, but have not yet to till now. I hope you're doing fine in life though. How i miss those times. But it seems like good things dont last. I look forward to see you soon again and i hope you'll return to Him. Take care and all the best.

2010-08-29T22:39:00.002+08:00

2808 is just 2808. Like any other day.

2010-08-27T23:45:00.002+08:00

This week killed, had trainings for 4 consecutive days. But oh well its just for this week i guess :) And, all that's to be known has been known for now.. Just as well.
And sadly, three people are leaving after this week. I hope for one to be back soon and the other two, i wish them the very best in all they do :)
Greatly appreciate these three people, for all their help and everything else they had done.

2010-08-23T22:54:00.000+08:00

This world is just so absurd...

2010-08-22T23:13:00.002+08:00

Learnt that we never learn to appreciate others and always judge them. Especially when it comes to comparing with people we like. Our opinion of the other will definitely get affected. When in actual fact, things may not be that case. Sometimes we just fail to see the merits of what others have and judge them base on what we see or think of them.

2010-08-20T22:58:00.002+08:00

Hey hey :)
School's been tiring as usual.
Sigh, many are falling sick these days. I hope everyone's fine.
Anyway, went for YOG's soccer match yesterday. It wasn't too bad :)Have been watching the swimming games on TV, its really interesting and Australia is good :)
Sadly all the swimming events have ended today. Oh well, volleyball next!

2010-08-20T22:46:00.004+08:00

Somewhere, somehow, in our lives, we tend to get to our lowest point.

Who do you think you are, why must you always do things the way you want. And you sure have a way out with others, that no one can do anything.Why do you have to do this. Why make me feel this way again when i've just gotten used to things and decided not to think about it. Why, i hate you, but much as i want to i can't. You caused me to feel so down again. Time and again, you brought me up but it was also you who sent me down..

2010-08-13T23:29:00.002+08:00

My first post in the month, awesome :)

Anyway school has been tiring and there's not much time left till end-years :/
Don't think i'm studying enough though, got more to buck up on. Sigh.
YOG's starting really soon! Going to watch the soccer matches on thusrday :)

With that, i've nothing else to talk about at this moment :)

2010-07-30T23:05:00.000+08:00

If only time could rewind,
if only
if only..

2010-07-28T23:07:00.002+08:00

Life is just so unfair..
And reality really hurts.
It came upon me as i was watching the basketball match. Out of so many players in the team, the whole match only involved 6 players. What about the rest? Bench players? Its so unfair and saddening. Then how different are they from us supporters? At the very least, our pressence were felt with all the cheerings but were the pressence of those on the bench felt by others?
But then again, this is life. We've got to be practical.

2010-07-22T22:58:00.002+08:00

What matters most are the memories we once had. And the good relationship we share. Till now. Never mind about the present state but as long as the memories are not forgotten.
And i guess ultimately, you're still the one.. Noone else.

2010-07-04T22:55:00.000+08:00

Things just aren't going my way..
:'(

2010-06-24T22:48:00.004+08:00

Life is just too unpredictable..
You never know when death may be near you. You never know what's gonna happen next. You may know what happens in the next 10 15 minutes but not the next hour or so. Think every moment should be treasured.

Had training camp today. Feeling so drained now :( First half of the day was training, together with sec 1s. Training was quite... good :) After that had lunch break and proceeded with court games. Really glad to see you there and playing.. haha. After training had debrief and came home :)

2010-06-24T00:15:00.002+08:00

Why is it that as fellow human beings, we don't learn to give and take. Why must we always choose for things to go according to our own ways. After all, we're fellow beings. And we tend to appear nonchalant to certain matters but no one knows what's inside of us. In fact when we appear nonchalant, that's when something is wrong.
Can't we just try to be more appreciative and giving.

2010-06-16T00:42:00.002+08:00

Hoho, i'm leaving for Church Camp!~
Gonna miss peeps, sigh ):
You guys take care okay! Will be back! :)

Anyway had training today(150610). Legs aching really badly from it now D:
Failed to meet B but no choice. Hope to see her soon! haha :P
After trng went for lunch together with seniors at rp. Decided to have BBQ at Wen Hui's house in the evening. Evening, met Xinyi and went to Heartland Mall to get drinks then met the rest and went to Wen Hui's place together. Overall, it was great :) Experienced smth really interesting too. Haha, the fork melted in the honey that was boiling. Super cool! Afterwhich, left at 9plus and home :)
Alright, enough of crapping. Haha..

Not going to blog for the next few days, continue tagging! Thanks! :)

2010-06-13T23:55:00.002+08:00

Whoo, World Cup has started!
Another week passed. Soon, holidays will be over. And what have i done so far in this hols? Nothing, nothing constructive. This is really bad, i need to start bucking up, start prioritizing. Plus i'm gonna be away for Church Camp from 16-19. Which takes up almost the whole of this week.
Ohno~

And i realize smth today.
Although many times certain things seems to be easy, it isn't the least bit easy and things shouldn't be taken for granted.
(smth i took away from a 30mins of playing/fun)

2010-06-09T00:13:00.003+08:00

[8June2009]
Tireddddd :(
Just came back from the airport not too long ago. Went to send my cousin off. He's going Poland with the school for some competition, how nice. Haha.
Before that had training in the morning. Training wasn't very tough though :) But it was a little struggle/emotional for me. Afterwhich went for lunch at rp and back to school to shoot. Completed this week's 1000 shots, yay :)Reached home and rushed to go to the airport and finally home at about 10 plus. Sigh, long day.
Going down for training with sec 1s tmrw but the plan to meet primary school mates failed :( Oh well. Hope to meet them soon! :)

Training got me thinking today. And i really miss you.
I know you probably wouldn't be reading this but its okay.
Really missed you during training, how i wished you were there.
But i understand that it is difficult for now. In fact things have been a little different. Was randomly reading through the past messages from you one night. It is rather obvious that the messages now are somewhat different. But i understand. And in today's court game during training, i faced the fact that i wouldn't be hearing things like "ti gao", "flip", "confidence" from you anymore. Yes i may have already know this fact since you stepped down but it didn't leave much of an impact until today where i really experienced it myself. However low my confidence level may be, i know i'm not getting the boost from you already, i have to find it back myself.
Its just that it takes time i guess. I still have to get use to things. Maybe someday i'll hear those words from you again but i wonder when. Sometimes i really cant help but be reminded of those times and i really miss them and you, even during trainings. Whatever it is though, i'll be waiting for you still...

2010-06-05T21:48:00.002+08:00

I guess i know.
And i understand.
Many things are easier said than done.
Its probably the same and perhaps its not just you but also me.
Maybe its better this way..

a lot of things coming to mind again.
certain things, i know i'm in no right to think about it anymore.
but sometimes it can't be controlled.
human nature..
everyone errs.
i just want to forget it all.

:) :)

2010-06-04T22:57:00.002+08:00

One week of holiday has ended. This doesn't seem like a holiday to me at all :(

Had training in the morning, aching quite badly now :/ Probably gonna ache tmrw and the day after.
Feeling drained these days. I want to sleeeeep :)

2010-05-29T22:47:00.002+08:00

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

2010-05-28T14:17:00.002+08:00

Can't believe its already the holidays.
PTM tmrw, sigh. So dead.
Rotting the whole day, going for BBQ later.

Speak for yourself, i say again.
Far too much.
Dare to do, dare to admit.

2010-05-27T23:17:00.001+08:00

Farewell, enjoy!

2010-05-26T22:17:00.001+08:00

SPEAK FOR YOURSELF.

2010-05-26T22:14:00.002+08:00

8, 5

*edited
Was reading my past posts since september 09. Recalled many stuffs and many images/scenes came into my mind. Sigh.
Those memories..

2010-05-22T23:56:00.005+08:00

Hmm okay so i've changed my blogskin and apparently, everything appears black and white now. Haha.

Anyway mid-year results are out and are far too horrible.
I wonder what is going to happen after the PTM.
Well trainings have started, been tiring.
Yesterday was road run. Argh came in the same position as last year again. grr. Screw you.

Feel so drained after the past week.. Sigh.

2010-05-15T22:42:00.002+08:00

Was walking back home today when i saw the workers using a machine to level the cement on the ground. I was reminded of the CIP at Bintan. Am really thankful for that experience. If not for the CIP, i probably wouldn't know how we are already very fortunate. Here in Singapore, they at least have a machine to help in cementing. But over at Bintan, everything is done by hand alone. Technology is so advance that we depend so much on it, taking everything for granted. We do not realize how fortunate we are and instead, we ask for more. As i walked in, i saw the pool, almost filled with chidren. All of them were having fun. At Bintan, even the kids had to work.
It is really unfortunate..

I miss camp at Loola, Bintan.

2010-05-14T23:56:00.002+08:00

Yay that MYE is over! (: How fast.
Went to watch The Last Song with peeps after exam today. Was glad not to watch The Backup Plan in the end (: Hmm sad and touching show, had something to take away from it i guess. Waiting for Sunday, Ip Man 2! :P

Can all this nonsense stop. Enough is enough. Please.
Don't just think for yourself but also for the sake of others!
You're old enough.
Why do all good things have to come to an end, why does time pass so fast. That we're unable to catch up, that so many things have happened.
Isn't it tiring that this have to always go on?
Fed-up.

2010-05-13T17:00:00.002+08:00

Tmrw's the last paper but somehow it seems like the exams are already over. Tmrw's subject doesn't seem to bother many. Haha. Oh well. I'm just waiting for the results.. Can roughly expect it though. I bet i'll flunk some subjects ): Sigh..
Time pass really fast this year. Like now, the exams are over so soon. Really allowed me to think about the time we spent for preparation and how it is done with so soon. In fact many things are just like this. We spent so much time on it yet it gets done with so quickly.

Can't wait to watch Ip Man 2 and The Backup Plan!:)

2010-05-03T12:36:00.002+08:00

Quick update.

Saturday was good, went to watch coaches' match (: great experience, seeing how these players play, really makes me reflect on myself.
Was saddening though, you're the best coach! (:

Its holiday today! Planned to be staying home to rot but i guess it shouldnt be happening (:

2010-04-27T22:14:00.002+08:00

It only gets worse..

All at one go.
When will i ever find peace.
I'm tired and i don't like this. I don't want to go on in this way.

You were the one who brought me up there,
but you were also the one who sent me crashing down.

"... For when I am weak, then I am strong."

2010-04-26T21:54:00.000+08:00

It could have been 7, but has been 4..

2010-04-23T18:14:00.003+08:00

Time flies.
MYE is just next week but it doesn't feel so. Sigh sigh. How am i going to make it through in this way.
Quite a lot has been happening i guess. And i feel that i have not really been in the best of mood these days.. Not sure what really is the cause of it though. Everything just seems so... deluding.

I tried, till now. I realize i'm still trying.
Just why. Its not like i can do anything. It's a fact that remains there. Nothing changes that fact.
Unfortunately.
imy..

Every sweet has its sour; every evil its good. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

2010-04-16T23:09:00.002+08:00

Thought i was doing fine..
Not bothering about things anymore, etc. Not until today. I think i could be wrong. But i hope im not.

2010-04-16T22:55:00.000+08:00

You crashed me..

Your words struck me. Till now, it keeps coming into my mind and i can't forget it. You may not mean it but had a good intention behind it. Or maybe not. However, things may not always work like how you think it will.
Crude remark..

2010-04-09T23:40:00.002+08:00

Sadden and shock to learn about this.. Whatever your decision is in the end, I'll respect it. Just hope you'll think through carefully and not regret..

2010-04-06T23:11:00.003+08:00

It's been a while..

Well, season ended D: Time to focus on studies for MY.
Anyway, last match was with St. Hilda's today. Thankfully, we won (: A week's break from netball and we'll probably start merging soon. Everything will have to start again.. But i shall listen to the good advice and hopefully not think too much.

Just want to thank everyone in the team (: We've worked hard and trained hard together to come so far. Whatever has happened has happen. I'll miss the times with all of you as a team. Not that we're no longer a team, (of course we still ARE) but as you all know, things will be slightly different in time to come. It won't just be us alone but there will be more people in fact. It has been a really good time with you all, thank you (: Let's continue to work hard!
And to B, as we both know, you've stepped down. Although it's kinda sad and a pity, i want to thank you for the advises you've always given me, for always being there and to encourage me. I'm really grateful for that (: Work hard and all the best to you for your 'O's! (: Take care.

Life is a grindstone. Whether it grinds us down or polishes us up depends on us. -- Thomas L. Holdcroft

2010-03-14T22:24:00.006+08:00

Finally, a break.
First thing first, Zonals ended. Something to rejoice for, both divisions got third placing! :) Getting ready for Nationals now.
thank you team, for making top 4 possible :)) without all of you, this would not have been possible. just wanna thank all of you, you guys did a really great job in coming this far :)keep it up and jiayous for Nationals! Not forgetting the rest, thank you so much for all the support and encouragement. The cookies, sweets, etc. They were a great source of encouragement and support :)

Next thing, the March hol's are here :) Guess it's not going to seem like a holiday though. Packed with projects and works :( Gonna be busy.. Thought i could take a break from here. Oh well.

Lastly, sec 2 camp is after the holidays. I'm not prepared at all. And i can see that my group is going to be very boring. argh.
Thankfully i've Mandy in the same group :)

Although i really dont understand what you're trying to do or what you mean by doing certain things, i guess i just have to forget everything ASAP and let go..

2010-03-07T21:56:00.001+08:00

Guess i'll be back when all's well.

We're gonna go for it, all the best Team! (:
I believe you can do it. Trust in yourself and each other (: Jiayous!

2010-02-28T23:26:00.002+08:00

Finally came to a point where i realized how weak i actually am when i'm alone.. Thanks..
It was so close, so close.. Thankfully.

2010-02-19T22:43:00.002+08:00

Came across a particular passage about hui yi a few days ago. I thought what was written really make sense and i think it's really true like how they are a part of our lives, everyone has them. Both sweet and bitter. It is smth very precious in life actually. It causes how we feel too. When we're reminded of the happy moments, we sometimes can't help but smile to ourselves, having a sense of satisfaction inside us. However, the bitter ones can cause us to feel really hurt. We feel hurt because we know we never will have the same happy feeling we used to have, no matter how hard we search. But after going through the bitter times, only then will we start to understand what it means by sweet moments. In fact, hui yi is just like a lesson learnt in life. It teaches us a lot. There are things that is not easy to forget and let go. The only time when we really can let go is when we really forgive others and really forget and put aside everything..

2010-02-06T16:29:00.003+08:00

Hey hey (:
It's been a while since i last updated.
A month of school has passed just like that. It's true, "Time waits for no man". And yes, in one month, a lot has happened..
There's good ones but there's also bad ones. I definitely will never forget the happy ones (: Those moments are superb!
As for the unhappy ones, much as i want to, i'll forget it asap..

Feeling really tired recently. Physically and mentally. Been sick these few days too.
Main focus now is to cope with both studies and netball..

Anyway, zonals started.
Glad both divisions made it to round 2 (: All the best, NV! Continue working hard, let's work towards our goal.

Yeap, it's been more than a month.. I survived it.. But i tell you, that period of time really sucked. And it's not over yet. I don't think you felt the same way, did you? Do you even know who you are? Perhaps not. Oh well. No more sarcastic remarks for you though. I've had enough even if you don't. Like i mentioned above, i'll try to forget things asap. It's difficult though, there are things which just takes more time and effort..
Goodbye.

2010-01-18T20:08:00.004+08:00

Oh how about a round of applause, yeah
A standing ovation, ooooh-oh,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

You look so dumb right now
Standing outside my house
Trying to apologize
You're so ugly when you cry
Please, just cut it out

_[Chorus]_
Don't tell me you're sorry cuz you`re not
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught
But you put on quite a show
You really had me going
But now it's time to go
Curtain's finally closing
That was quite a show
Very entertaining
But it's over now (But it's over now)
Go on and take a bow

Grab your clothes and get gone(get gone)
You better hurry up before the sprinklers come on(come on)
Talkin' about, girl, I love you, you're the one
This just looks like the re-run
Please, what else is on

_[Chorus]_
And don't tell me you're sorry cuz you're not
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught
But you put on quite a show
You really had me going
But now it's time to go
Curtain's finally closing
That was quite a show
Very entertaining
But it's over now(But it's over now)
Go on and take a bow

Oh and the award for the best liar goes to you (goes to you)
For making me believe, that you could be
Faithful to me
Lets hear your speech out
How about a round of applause
A standing ovation

_[Chorus]_
But you put on quite a show
You really had me going
But now it's time to go
Curtain's finally closing
That was quite a show
Very entertaining
But it's over now(But it's over now)
Go on and take a bow

But it's over now

A lot of things had happened..
ARGH, i seriously hate myself for that. I've seen how much of a fool i am. I've realized how smart and nice you are instead. Recalling past memories. It just makes me mad. Not only with you but also with myself. All the trust i once had in you, it's lost..
Really. It's so maddening just thinking and recalling about those stuff. I hate it. Why does it have to turn out this way. Why of all people does it have to be you. You probably have no idea how it feels but i'm telling you, it sucks. It's horrible. Maybe people like you are too nice, too smart to understand. I start to not know you. It feels so distant, so strained..

2010-01-12T22:55:00.003+08:00

It turns out that i'm really right. If that's the case, why did you bother? I think you're just being selfish. Plain selfish! Whatever i heard about you towards me from others or even from you are just nonsense then. Everything was just a pack of LIES and EXCUSES. A WHOLE LOAD OF CRAP AND NONSENSE. They are so not true.
Not that you're in the wrong in doing this now. It is afterall your choice. Whatever happens has nothing to do with me as of now. I'm not gonna care. Not anymore. Do what you like, i'm washing my hands off this. In fact, thank you, for i've learnt smth in return.

Be honoured, i've not felt this way before i guess. You're probably one of those few. I really hate myself. I've been a really great fool. Unlike you huh.. I realized how smart you are after this incident. Good for you.

Sucks..

2010-01-10T23:02:00.004+08:00

Till the next time.

Green Day- Time Of Your Life
Another turning point;
a fork stuck in the road.

Time grabs you by the wrist;
directs you where to go.

So make the best of this test
and don't ask why.

It's not a question
but a lesson learned in time.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs
and still frames in your mind.

Hang it on a shelf
In good health and good time.

Tattoos of memories
and dead skin on trial.

For what it's worth,
it was worth all the while.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It was very smart of you to turn things around. Great job.
Thanks for what you've done, be it good or bad. I guess i learnt something. I'm so glad i realized how such a fool i am. Why did i even bother?! I shouldn't have cared or think about it. Really shouldn't had. It's a totally wrong step. From now on, i shall care no longer. Whatever i hear, whatever i see. I won't poke my nose into it. It's not gonna be any of my business. I know it's not going to be easy for the following weeks/days. I'm going to be reminded of many many things which i don't want to. Still i'll do my best and not let anything get me down. However difficult it is, i'll try..
How true it is when i said 'it won't and probably never will'.. I won't forget things you once said. And i will not forget this song Always Be My Baby. Only you know what i mean.

2010-01-02T23:39:00.003+08:00

Hey hey.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm back (:
Youth Camp was great! ((: Kinda miss camp now. haha. Had quite a lot of activities.
Well i missed the ice-breakers on the first day though, was late. Causeeee i had training in the morning before going to camp. Training on Monday wasn't very easy i must say. But yea, survived (: Now i really have to work hard. For every shot miss, 10 push-ups. ahhhhhh. Anyway when i arrived, they started briefing on Angel-Mortal alr. At the end of the camp, Heng Chun was my angel while Johnston was my mortal (:
And i'm too lazy to elaborate the rest :P In short, things were good. It was a pleasant camp (: Missed mates while at camp though. I guessed a lot happened when i was away from them. Got lots to catch up with them. Last day of camp was also the last day of 2009. Looking back, i really thank God for so many things. Yesterday's Thanksgiving was really a good session. Really let me think and see how God had helped so much.
Anyway school is starting like really really soon. Argh. So not ready, so not prepared! :( Oh sigh. And i won't be using the comp as often anymore :( So yea apologies for slow updates.
Right now i really have to get over the holiday mood and adjust back to life during school.. Waking up early, going for runs before school starts etc.

2009-12-27T23:28:00.002+08:00

Youth Camp's tmrw! Gonna be away till the 31st and thus will MIA for a few days (: Keep tagging though. Will reply ASAP (:

Anyway watched Bodyguards And Assassins today (: I thought it was quite nice? Yea then went to have lunch at Manhattan's Fish Market (: Good lunch, good day. Was really full after eating.

[26 November 2009]
Went out with Vivian, Trudy and Wenyi today(: Met Vivian at Hougang Mall before meeting Trudy and Wenyi. Lunched at Hougang Point and headed down to Whitesands and Downtown & EHub(: Glad that i managed to get something (: In fact all of us did. Bused back with Trudy and Wenyi after that while Vivian left with classmates. Went to meet her for a while,(thanks!) and went home (:

A very great day for it to happen, started and ended on the same date. Not bad.
In any case, i thank you for the many memories you've given me. Be it nice or not, i'll always remember them (: I must say those times were really nice. I'll definitely miss it. But if this is how things are planned to turn out then there's nothing we can do. I'm sure God has something better for us in His plan. I wish you all the best (: Thankyou.

2009-12-25T17:06:00.002+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS! :D

It's christmas but i'm spending the day home. This christmas feels different. But i guess i had smth else in return (: Something in a different way which some people may not realize. It all depends on the different perspective of people..

2009-12-24T15:40:00.002+08:00

Hey hey (: It's christmas eve! :D Counting down to christmas..? Haha.
But i'm stuck at home for the whole day today. Oh well. Shall wish everyone a jolly Merry Christmas in advance! (:
Anyway class list is out. Will be going to E4 next year. Together with Angela, Jing Hui, Rebecca, XinYi and Vivian ((: And great, i've not done my holiday work. There's probably quite a lot of things to adapt to next year..

I've tried explaining. I don't know if it's because you don't get what i mean or you refuse to give up. But i hope you will someday. And really, there's a lot of things which you really leave me clueless as to how i can reply you. I don't wish to be too blunt either. Neither do i wish to sour our friendship or smth. I just hope that it will stop and then things can be fine.

2009-12-22T23:33:00.003+08:00

Yet another victory today.
Had match against Crescent Girl's today. Met peeps in the morning before going to school together. B played first. Although they lost by that wee bit, it's okay. They played well(: Following that, it was C's turn. Won, but could have been better(: Did a gift exchange with seniors/teacher/coach after debrief. Haqima got mine and i got Sabina's. Thanks (: Thanks also to the sec 4 seniors who got us something back from Thailand(: Gave out presents that i got for peeps after that. Hope you guys like it(: Sorry if it's not to your preferance though! Anyway went to rp for lunch with some seniors after that and home(:
Going to school again tmrw. Tired..

To those who have injured their ankles, please do get well soon!

2009-12-20T23:18:00.002+08:00

The problem now lies in the way both of us are looking at things. We're both looking at it from different point of views. Leading to us communicating differently, feeling different.

Anyway, my phone's getting confiscated. ARGH. So yea do take note.
With regards to the previous post, i am really racing against time. I feel that myself. Ahh.
Haha anyway Christmas is coming! (:

2009-12-19T23:12:00.003+08:00

So dead, so dead. Hols coming to an end and i've yet to touch my work! Great. And i realized i don't actually have the time to do it :/ Sigh, i really have to start on it. And i've to pack my cupboard and books too. Much things to be done in this little time i'm left. Taking away the four days where i'll be away for youth camp. Whoa, i'm really racing against time. And i won't get to see so much of the netballers after christmas. Or i probably don't get to see them till school starts or smth? :( Gonna miss them. Especially sec 1s and mentor! haha. Will miss them lots.. Hope to see them soon during the period of time i don't get to. You guys take care ya (:
Till the next time.

It's another chance, i leave it to you whether you'll cherish it. Like i said, we'll just see how things go at this point of time.

2009-12-17T22:35:00.006+08:00

Hey hey(:
Woke up in the morning and met usuals before going to school together(: Had a game against FMGS/FMSS for both C and B. Think both divisions did quite well today(: Our first victory. haha. Didn't think i did very well though. More to go, more to improve. Great job though, NV (: Keep it up and continue to play well!
thanks teammates, mentor and coach (: sorry though.
Lunch at rp after that and went to WenYi's house. Watched a horror movie which i think was really stupid :P Anyway slacked around after that and went home with Vivian and XinYi (: Training with seniors tmrw again :D
Seeya! <3

Still in the midst of consideration. I don't wish to waste both of our time but really, it's gonna be a tough decision to make. Besides i really don't understand what you want after today. You're not doing what you say. Instead, you're being contradicting to what you say.

2009-12-15T23:21:00.004+08:00

Went to school for training with Mrs Tan today.
Training was alright (: Lunched with seniors after that. Stayed for quite a while and left. Took 82 with Domi and Vivian (: Accompanied Vivian to Hougang Mall to collect her contacts. Met peeps on the way. Stayed at macs for some time and left. Will be going back to school tmrw again to train with seniors (:
I think i'm rather blessed/lucky to have a mentor who's really nice ((: haha! And i thank her a lot (:

Maybe it was wrong right from the very start. Or maybe not. But whatever it is, it's different now. I need some time alone to think about it. You may tell me all sort of things now but i really don't know what's true and what's no longer true.(I don't mean to not trust you) All that you've once said, i still remember them. Whether you've carried it out, i don't know. Maybe for some but maybe not for some. I'll give things a serious thought. Meanwhile, you should too.

2009-12-14T15:38:00.008+08:00

10 to go. (Tagged by Tissany)

1. Are you single?
Yeap.
2.Are you happy?
I guess so?
3.Are you bored?
Yea.
4.Are you fair?
Nope?
5.Are you indian?
Nope.
6.Are you stupid?
Perhaps i am.
7.Are you honest?
Who am i to judge myself for that.
8.Are you irish?
Nope.
9.Are you nice?
Again, who am i to judge myself for that.
10.Are you asian?
Yeap.

Ten facts.
Full name: Nicole Siew Jia Min
Nickname: -
Birthplace: Singapore.
Hair colour: Black/brown?
Eye colour: Black?
Date of birth: 28 August.
Mood: As usual.
Favourite colour: All the same except that i prefer purple, orange, white and black (:
One place you wished to visit: Can't think of it now.

Ten facts about your love.
1. Been in love?
-
2. Believe in love at first sight?
Maybe?
3. Currently you have a crush?
Nope.
4. Hurt emotionally before?
Probably?
5. Broken someone's heart?
Yea. (sorry!)
6. Have your heart broken?
Not sure
7. Like someone but kept in heart?
Hmm let me think..
8. Are you afraid of commitment?
commitment to?
9. Last person you hugged?
Can't remember
10. Last person you said ILY into his eyes?
-

This or That.
Love or lust: Love.
Cats or dogs: Dogs.
Best friends or regular friends: Both.
Creamy or crunchy: Fine with both.
Pencil or pen: Pen.
Wild night out or romantic in: Depends.
Money of happiness: Happiness.
Night or day: Not sure.
IM or phone: Phone?

Have you ever.
Been caught sneaking out?
Sneaking out of/to?
Seen a polar bear?
Yup.
Done something you regret?
I think so.
Eat food that is on the floor?
Shouldn't be ba.
Eat an entire Jaw breaker?
Nope.
Been caught naked?
Of course not
Wanted bf/gf back?
-
Cried because losing a person?
-
Wanted to disappear?
Nope.

Preference of love.
Smile or eyes: Both (:
Light or dark hair: Doesn't matter.
Hugs or kisses: Depends.
Shorter or taller: Taller.
Intelligence or attraction: Both?
Violent or pathetic: None.
Older or younger: Preferably older, but not all that old either.
Outgoing or quiet: Both are acceptable :) Not too quiet though.
Sweet or bad: Sweet.
Performed in a large crowd? Don't know.
Talk on the phone longer than a hour: Think so?
A rock concert: Sure :)
Cheerleading team: Nah.
Dance team: Nah.
Sports team: Yea.
Drama play or production: -
Owned rich cars: We'll see about that when it's right.
In a rap video: -

Last thing you did.
Last call you made: Grandma.
Hugged: Can't remember
Hung out: Mates.
Work: Not yet.
Talked to: Jing Hui?
You IM'ed: -
Texted: Javier
Movie: 2012, Mates (:
Last person or thing you miss: -

Tag 20 people to do the quiz.
1. A
2. N
3. Y
4. O
5. N
6. E
7. W
8. H
9. O
10.W
11.A
12.N
13.T
14.S
15.T
16.O
17.D
18.O
19.I
20.T

Yay i'm finally done with it(:

2009-12-13T22:53:00.004+08:00

Hey hey, sorry for not updating in a while (:

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY JACQUES GOH KK
Thanks for being such a great friend, stranger. haha(: I'm glad i got to know you better. Thank you for always being there,for always lending me your ears when i need (: You've been a really great help to me, a great buddy. Once again, happy birthday(: Hope you've enjoyed. All the best!

Anyway, went to meet peeps after church today. Great time spent with them (: Went to Pasir Ris Park to cycle/roller-blade. I tell you i really felt like a loser then. haha. Anyway, left when it was time and went to hougang for a haircut together with XinYi, Vivian and XiaoMin (: Say byebye to my long hair, my long ponytail..

Yesterday, was busy with grandfather's birthday (: Nothing much other than that.

Friday, went to school for training in the morning with seniors(: Training was alright, match against seniors before we end(: Headed to rp for lunch with seniors afterwhich and went back to school. Went to change into training tee and went to prepare for match against AMK. Seniors played first followed by us. Played all 5 quarters. Lost but good game i guess(: Could have been better though, it was just that wee bit. AAR and went for dinner at rp with seniors (:
Thanks A LOT Bee Juan ((: Also thank you to Yu Ling, Hui Zhen, Miss Loo, Wen Hui and Vivian (:

Thursday, went to school in the morning for training with Bee Juan (: Did passes before that. Went to rp to eat with seniors after training. Chatted. Left and went to meet Sin Yee, Glynis, Gary, Izac, Ryan, Tristan and Wei Yao(: Yay! Really miss those guys. Had a good time together(: Hope to meet up soon again (:

Basically, I'm going back to school every other day. Tiring but oh well. Won't be going tmrw though D: Sigh. Hopefully i can go back on tuesday(:
Till then, byebye (:

2009-12-08T23:44:00.002+08:00

Hello(:
Been feeling really tired these days. Going back to school everyday, netball everyday. I no longer get to sleep in and i miss sleeping in ): Waking up so early everyday. Sigh. It really drains us.
Haven't been feeling too well either. And i've currently lost my voice. Haha. Try talking to me :P
Anyway i shan't carry on. I'll just go on talking about stuffs which are nonsensical. Haha. Oh! Can't wait to meet up with SinYee, Gary etc (:

I want my voice back and i want my phone..

2009-12-06T00:54:00.002+08:00

What's your purpose of telling me this? You start to make me doubt again. Then so much for all you've said. ARGH.

2009-12-03T16:35:00.002+08:00

Great it's December.

Anyway. IM BACK FROM CAMP! (:
Guess camp was alright on the whole, although tired.
Had training, matches and punishments. Had a farewell buffet for the graduating seniors on the last night. And some items put up for them. Their speech were sad/touching. Really touched me.
And camp ended yesterday.

Game tmrw in the afternoon. Hope it's fine. I need 100% shots, my arm better be okay. It's better though (: And i currently don't feel too well :/ argh. Ya i just hope everything is okay la.

"Somewhere behind the athlete you've become, the hours of practice, the coaches who push you, and the fans who cheer for you, is the little girl who fell in love with the sport and never looked back. Play for her."

2009-11-28T22:46:00.002+08:00

Time sure flies. It's already the end of November, December is coming soon. Can you imagine when school starts? Oh no, i think i'll just die.

Camp's on Monday! Sigh, another trying time. Gotta work hard. I hope i survive,i hope things go well.

Christmas is coming. Think the lightings and decos in Orchard are really nice(: Especially in the night. Haha. Take a look at it if you can (:
Anyway, gonna MIA for a few days. Do continue tagging though, tags will be replied when im back! (:

2009-11-26T00:38:00.005+08:00

[25th November 2009]
Overslept a little this morning and was late in meeting Vivian.(sorry! haha) Hurried and left the house to meet her at Hougang Interchange (: Found out i wasn't the latest afterall. haha :P Bused down to rp. Met Rebecca and Trudy (: Ate at Macs. Slacked and left for school at 12plus (: Did our CIP. It was, bad? haha. Okay, cant think of any word to describe. Shall make do with bad (: hehe. Anyway yup did a little of court work after that and went to Hougang Mall with Vivian and XinYi. Got my sandals changed(: Stayed with XinYi till WenJing came and went home (:

Yesterday, met Vivian at Hougang Interchange and bused down together to meet Rebecca and Trudy (: Met, went to Hougang Point and headed to Hougang Green for Lan Gaming. Played a while and left. Waited with Trudy to meet her friends. Saw Glynis ((: Man, i miss her really badly! Its been a long long while since i last saw her. Trudy left. Was deciding where to go next. And we really wasted a lot of time on that. hahaha. In the end, decided to go to the Airport (: whoo. haha. Went to T2, had our lunch. Left when it was about time. Afterwhich, went to Hougang Mall with Vivian to get a pair of sandals with her (: YAY! Thanks V, sorry too! haha. Loveya! <3
Anyway went home after that as it was getting late (:
XinYi's back today! (: Javier, come back soon! Sherman too (:

2009-11-23T23:03:00.004+08:00

Woke up feeling rather tired today. Was told training started at 7.30am instead of 8. But i was in doubts. haha. And if training were to start at 7.30, i would already be late. Reached school and i was right, its starts at 8(: haha phew.
Training, good but tiring. Feeling quite drained.
Netball Camp is in another week's time. will have 2-3 trainings per day. Whoa?
I hope i remember everything la. haha.
Went to rp for lunch after training. And bused home with Vivian and Wen Jing (:

Oh sigh, Javier has left for Malaysia. But yay, XinYi's coming back tmrw! (: haha!

"Two souls with but a single thought,
two hearts that beat as one."
- John Keats

2009-11-21T22:55:00.002+08:00

Hello (:
Had CT in the morning. Gillian and Jun Ning joined us(: Jun Ning arrived only yesterday. Been a while since i saw her. Haha. Hope she enjoys her stay in Singapore.
Home after CT and worked out. Great time(:

Aww, everyone's going away. Sherman has left for China while XinYi left for Hong Kong. And Javier is leaving for Malaysia! Sigh, gonna miss them. Hope they enjoy themselves(:

2009-11-20T22:58:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 13TH BIRTHDAY REBECCA! :D
Thanks for being a great special one <3 It is really my pleasure to know you (: Thanks for always being there. Remember that you'll always have us too (: All the best to you, girl. Take cares, love you! <3 Happy birthday! (:

Yes, went out to celebrate Rebecca's birthday today(: Waited for an hour for Vivian and Trudy! Hahaha. So late so late. But its okay (: Went to buy the cake and surprised Rebecca then went to Vivo, celebrate(: Cam-whored etc and went to Plaza then home(: Great day today(:

2009-11-18T17:39:00.002+08:00

Thanks.

Great im feeling so lost. What and who am i to believe? I seriously am stuck.
It either seems like i dont trust you or im being gullible. Just what else is there. This got me really really upset. I cant believe i teared. I feel really dumb.
Sigh, i dont know how to face you now..

What a time..

2009-11-17T23:01:00.002+08:00

Was going home on the bus today. There was this man sitting beside me. He kept dozing off and was almost always leaning towards me. I got so irritated by him and tried to "nudge" him each time he got so so close. Argh. Anyway i popped a question to my mind following that. I wondered "What if this guy beside me was a test? What if he was someone important or someone i knew? Example, Christ." I couldnt imagine how it would have turned out to be. I didnt want to think any further, it was rather scary as i carried on. However, i concluded that this is how we, human beings, are. We can never treat everyone equally like how we are supposed to. This is where we fail. In fact, we tend to be prejudice against others. Its really not easy. But we should try. It easy to say but definitely not easy to say and do.

2009-11-16T22:53:00.002+08:00

This is so ridiculous. Please. And come on, you dont have to keep talking about it. Enough is enough. There is a limit. What joy do you take delight in? I cant be bothered anymore. Say all you want. Its simply useless reasoning out with you. I dont wanna talk to you.

2009-11-14T16:15:00.003+08:00

Oh yay, 1 more day! (: haha, time flies. Something good and bad i guess. I just miss them.

2009-11-13T21:54:00.003+08:00

Often are we not contented with what we have in life, but when we start losing it, we learn to cherish it..

I wonder how the SL Camp is going and how are the peeps doing. Oh man, i seriously miss them ): Sigh.

Practically rot at home the whole day today D: Anyway, was supposed to meet peeps for our 5km run but we ended up not meeting ): That leaves me with 5km to complete still. Gah. And i didnt meet R & T too. Apologies though.
Oh! O levels officially ended today. Congrats to all who took the O levels this year (: I've got to "fight" with my brother for the computer already :P ahaha kidding kidding (:

2009-11-12T23:44:00.003+08:00

Training today again. Was asked to be out for my indi training after the warm-ups.
Thought the indi training was good (: Hope i remember what i've learnt and that i'll memorise it and put it to use(: I must not waste the teacher's and my time. After training, went for lunch at RP. Decided to go to Rachel's house afterwhich.
TV marathon. haha. And XinYi was playing with my hair. lol. Thanks anyway(: hehe. Halfway, they decided to cook noodles. Thanks Rachel! (: Left at 5plus and home(:

Hope the rest are doing fine at the camp. Its tough, but they will survive (:
Take care, we'll see you soon! Miss you guys alright <3
They finally got to use their phone earlier. Whoa.

Alright, im tired; drained. Bye!(:

2009-11-11T23:40:00.002+08:00

Hello, training today.
Good but tiring. Drained. Was tested for our 2km runs. Timing improved(: but didnt hit target of 2min improvement D: Anyway, thought i didnt perform for today's training :( I've got to work harder. Im almost left with only 2 more weeks. Sigh sigh. Training tomorrow again. Shall work harder (: Oh and im having my indi training again! argh, pray hard..

2009-11-10T23:26:00.005+08:00

A picture taken of the water at the beach while waiting for sunrise (:

HEY :D
Back from 1E2's chalet (:
Stayed over at the chalet yesterday. It was a 3D2N event but i stayed for 1 night.
Anyway i thought it was. enjoyable? haha. went to watch midnight movie then decided not to sleep(: Stayed up the whole day. Slacked, chatted. Thought the sky was really nice(: It was starry. Dont think i've seen such starry nights before(: Cool. And yes, it was cold. Whoa. Went to Pasir Ris Park to watch the sunrise at about 0500. Was left with only 5 of us as the rest couldnt tahan, went to sleep. haha! Went back to the chalet at about 0630. Yay i feel so good, didnt sleep at all :P haha. But of course, TIREDDDD!SLEEPY!!
thanks, i'll remember them (:
Returned to the chalet and slept for an hour or so then packed and checked out(:
Thanks 1E2, i'll miss you guys. Take cares and i'll see you guys back in school! (:

2009-11-07T17:13:00.003+08:00

Its so amazing looking at how God works in our lives.

"Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts. "

2009-11-05T23:21:00.005+08:00

3 more weeks..
Sigh. Not much time left.
Jiayous to all yea, work hard together and do our best (:

Thanksifitwasntforitiprobablywouldntfeelthiswayallthemorewouldinotgetabetter
understandingofmyfeelingstoorightnowijusthopethateverythingbetweenmandiarefine
praythatwedonothavesomuchofdownshopewesurvivethedifficulttimesilhmoreandmore

"For the first time, I realize, something I didn't see before.
For the first time, looking in your eyes, suddenly there's so much more.
Something we both feel inside for the first time."

2009-11-05T23:11:00.004+08:00

Westlife- More Than Words

Saying I love you,
Is not the words,
I want to hear from you,
It's not that I want you,
Not to say but if you only knew,
How easy,
it would be to show me how you feel,

More than words,
is all you have to do,
to make it real,
Then you wouldn't have to say,
that you love me,
Cause I'd already know,

What would you do,
if my heart was torn in two,

More than words to show you feel,
That your love for me is real,

What would you say,
if I took those words away,

Then you couldn't make things new,
Just by saying I love you,

It's more than words,
It's more than what you say,
It's the things you do,
oh yeah,
It's more than words,
It's more than what you say,
It's the things you do,
oh yeah,

Now that I've tried to,
talk to you and make you understand,
All you have to do,
is close your eyes,
And just reach out your hands,
and touch me,
Hold me close don't ever let me go,

More than words,
is all I ever needed you to show,
Then you wouldn't have to say,
that you love me,
Cause I'd already know,

What would you do,
if my heart was torn in two,

More than words to show you feel,
That your love for me is real,
What would you say,
if I took those words away,
Then you couldn't make things new,(no no)
Just by saying I love you...

2009-11-04T14:44:00.001+08:00

Thoughts racing through my mind..

Iguessiknowitnow

2009-11-03T23:05:00.005+08:00

Take away my heart.

I never thought i would feel this way until today. Perhaps this has allowed me to understand how i actually feel towards/about you. Didnt know something like that could actually affect me. But then again, im thinking. Would i still feel the same way even if its others?
Anyway, im fine. Im not gonna let little things like this get me down. She's right. Its just one party's thinking. Oh well.

Thanks much to Javier, Rebecca, Trudy, Vivian, WenYi and XinYi (:

2009-11-01T23:49:00.003+08:00

DNR-Ice Cream

You talk to me
You speak with me
Don't sink before you rise baby
Don't fade away

You hesitate
You seem to wait
For all the time we had
Feels like a world away

Who's to say, we'll be ok
We will make it through the night
Don't wanna wake up in this state
I just want us both to smile

Cause we're the same
And I know that we'll never change
Look I bought your favourite ice cream
I don't wanna see it melt away

If you walk out now
I don't know if we're gonna be the same
Baby just talk with me
Cause I want you to stay here with me

The memories
The things we did
I locked inside my heart
Where I know I won't forget

And now, who's to say, we'll be ok
We will make it through the night
Don't wanna wake up in this state
I just want us both to smile

Cause we're the same
And I know that we'll never change
Look I bought your favorite ice cream
I don't want to see it melt away

If you walk out now
I don't know if we could be the same
Baby just talk with me
Cause I want you to stay here with me

I want you to stay here with me

Busy busy.
PP> Vivo> Dhoby> Amk> home.
Anyway watched my first movie after a long long while. haha. Like since august?
haha watched Poker King.
then went home.
Happy 13th Birthday Ryan Teoh(: &
Happy 25th Birthday Timothy(:

whywhywhycantherejustbepeaceforoncetimeandagainsigh

2009-11-01T00:29:00.003+08:00

Its late, just want to add in to Friday's post.

Bye, although you're still coming back, we'll miss you as a teacher.
Everything's gonna be slightly different when you come back. Although its sad that you have to leave, we wish you all the best in your next career(: Take care!
Hope to see less of your "devil horns".

And yes, time sure flies. One year of school has come and go. Very soon, the new year will come and things will start all over again. Sigh. Dont actually have much time left. Time just fly pass so quickly without us even realizing it. Anyway im glad i survived this year, im still promoted to Express next year. *phew* Thank Him for everything(: For His guidance, mercy, etc. I hope i start working hard. In fact, i need to. Or i'll never make it through. It is indeed a blessing to have Him. Thank you! ((:

Alrights i should go. Its really late. Update the next time. Bye!

2009-10-30T23:38:00.004+08:00

iloveyou,baby

Anyway, got back report book. Bad bad.
Ahh im so gonna miss 1E2'09 ): and everyone else. Had a great time at Clarke Quay today(: Thanks! Shared(finally) and took lots of pictures. Pictures are uploaded on V's and R's blog(:

Okay im too lazy to post,haha bye (:

2009-10-28T23:38:00.004+08:00

Hey hey(:
Sports Chanbara event today. Thought it was a little stupid but laughed quite a lot though :P Anyway went to mall after that for lunch. We practically spent 2 hours eating and chatting/laughing away la. haha. It was really really funny. Then went to walk around and home(:
Sigh, training tomorrow. Hope its fine and that i dont die.
Oh, another 2 more days with 1E2'09. Gahhhh.

Rights, short post for now, gtg. Nights people! :D

2009-10-26T21:10:00.003+08:00

haha sorry if the picture looks kinda scary/weird :x

Training today at ISH. Was really tiring. But it really taught us to push ourselves. "Mind over Body" (: Hope to do better for future trainings. Got to work harder. Sigh sigh.

2009-10-25T21:49:00.004+08:00

Okay, i surrender. haha. Being asked by this little brother of mine to update.
Short post for now.
Right, school's coming to an end really soon. Got to treasure what we have with us now.I guess i've learnt quite a lot this year. I thank Him for always being there for me, for helping me pull through and for the many lessons learnt(: I thank Him for everything.

Anyway, training tmrw. Uh, i hope i do fine.

2009-10-23T23:04:00.004+08:00

This is human nature, only when we lose what we have do we realize the importance of it and start to cherish it. But its all too late, too late for regrets.

Got back all our results. It was really horrible, simply atrocious. Sigh..
And whats worse was,___________________________________.
It was then that i realized i dont actually hate it. In fact i want it. But its too late. There is nothing i can do about it now. I guess i just got to treat it as a lesson learnt, something to help me remember that i need to work hard. And i hope i really will take something back from it and put it to use, not just "all talk but no action".
imfeelingallmixedupitsjustsofunnyinsteadof________,________why
doihavetofeelthiswayitfeelsbad

Gah muscles' aching all over D: from yesterday and Tuesday's training D: tiring but..good? i guess. haha(: Had Kangoo jump bonding session today. Thought it was scary at first but it turned out fine after a while.
Tired, drained.

2009-10-20T22:48:00.002+08:00

However dreadful, however unpleasant. If it's meant to happen it will. If things are beyond our control, what more can we do. Just let things be and see how it goes. Be neutral though. In all that we know, everything happens for a reason. And its all part of the plan. In it, God plays a part. Just gotta pray about it and take time.

Cheerup!